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The 86 Rules of Boozing  (By Ridgewalker (117) on 06/09/2007)


I'm a bad drinker. And a worse drunk. I've only been schnockered maybe half a dozen times in my life. And there's a few good reasons for it. I either end up buying dinner for a couple from Switzerland, or puke just after I shut the car door. I didn't know there's rules! Here's 86 of 'em and I'm sure that there might even be 87, or 88 of 'em, so if you can add to this, feel free to submit suggestions. This aught to separate the men from the drunkards. For those of you aspiring to be a better drunkard, consider this as my gift to you. Just because I wasted my life, doesn't mean you have to...This list was lifted from: http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/issues/01-02/01_02_booze_rules.htm 1= Wodiyahmean iym dun? 2 = Squyoosshhhmeee? 3 = Bartenender! 4 = Bartenner! 5 = Bartender!

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20. Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks. (4)  5.00 (4)   Rate It!
76. The greatest thing a drunkard can do is buy a round of drinks for a packed bar. (3)  5.00 (4)   Rate It!
01. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour. (3)  5.00 (3)   Rate It!
17. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your liquor preference. (2)  5.00 (3)   Rate It!
10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink. (2)  5.00 (2)   Rate It!
29. If you owe someone twenty dollars or less, you may pay them back in beer. (2)  5.00 (2)   Rate It!
40. If you have ever told a bartender, “Hey, it all spends the same,” then you are a cheap ass. (1)  5.00 (2)   Rate It!
61. Never rest your head on a table or bar top. It is the equivalent of voluntarily putting your head on a chopping block. (1)  5.00 (2)   Rate It!
62. If you are trading rounds with a friend and he asks if you're ready for another, always say yes. Once you fall out of sync you will end up buying more drinks than him. (1)  5.00 (2)   Rate It!
63. If you're going to hit on a member of the bar staff, make sure you tip well before and after, regardless of her response. (1)  5.00 (2)   Rate It!
74. If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not deserve a drink. (1)  5.00 (1)   Rate It!
56. Screaming, “Someone buy me a drink!” has never worked. (4)  4.80 (5)   Rate It!
16. If she buys you a drink, she likes you. (4)  4.75 (4)   Rate It!
28. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store. (3)  4.75 (4)   Rate It!
48. Men don't drink from straws. Unless you're doing a Mind or Face Eraser. (3)  4.75 (4)   Rate It!
08. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails. (6)  4.67 (6)   Rate It!
04. Change your toast at least once a month. (2)  4.67 (3)   Rate It!
15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you. (3)  4.67 (3)   Rate It!
30. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink. (2)  4.67 (3)   Rate It!
44. Being drunk is feeling sophisticated without being able to say it. (2)  4.67 (3)   Rate It!
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