Things You Would Never Know without the Movies

The vast majority of people fervently believe that what they see in the movies is true. Here is a list of additional bits of wisdom for them to imbibe.

Things You Would Never Know without the Movies

You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place, and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.

During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

It is impossible for a woman to run from a madman or monster without falling down.

It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone to talk you down.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade.

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment that it is aired.

When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the man lying beside her.

All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their polar opposite.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

Never accept a drink from your hosts if they pour it with their back turned towards you.

Persons knocked unconscious by a blow to the head never suffer a concussion.

Animals that you think would eat each other get along just fine.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.

A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK stadium.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language - a German accent will do.

If you need to reload your weapon, you will always have more ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

When in a car chase, going against traffic, other motorists will notice. You'll miss them by inches.

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year.

Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

When being chased, it is always best to run UP the stairs, so you can leap from rooftop to rooftop.

When you are being chased, the quickest way out of a restaurant is through the kitchen.

If you wear a bulletproof vest, you never get shot in the head, arms or below the waist.

If you do laundry, you always have available a sqeaky clean, utterly safe, facility inhabited by amiable eccentrics as well as one desireable individual who is immediately attracted to you.

Dumping over a trash can will slow your pursuer enough so that you can make your escape.

The loudest hostage can be rendered totally silent simply by tying a bandana over her lips.

When the hero gets shot, the bullet passes through, causing only minor bleeding before he gets laid.

A car will have problems starting if someone is chasing you with a chainsaw.

Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

It is not necessary to hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

No-one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

The commander of the white policemen is always an African American.

A child can overcome any adverse situation, no matter how hopeless it seems.

No matter how fast you pound the keyboard, you never make a tyop, I mean a typo.

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