Why do space aliens only abduct hillbillies?

Let the aliens have them.

'cause they don't sound nearly as believable as the lawyer in NYC?

Anyone remember the movie about Alien Abduction in Northern Michigan.  It was based on a true story.  Don't know many rednecks in Northern Michigan.

Possibly becaue they know "living off the land" better than most of us.

Could it be that the aliens are trying to go to places that should be uninhabited and finding hillbillies there?

Actually people who claim to have been abducted by aliens come from various parts of North America and most of them are typical middle class. Even the first reported case of alien abduction was Barney and Betty Hill from New Hampshire. Barney worked for the post office and Betty was a social worker.

Makes you wonder just how advanced these aliens are, or whether they're the equivalent of Bubba and Cletus, out pitlamping deer and dynamiting fish in their intergalactic pickup truck.

They don't only abduct them. These are the rejects that they gave back to us!

With all of those old cars strewn about and up on blocks on their front lawns, the aliens figured that Appalacia was a research center and have been trying to soak Hillbillies for their technology...

They are the only one who would see an unidentified craft with a door open and intense light eminating from inside and decide to go in and check it out.

I guess this is why aliens have season passes to Nascar and are always over at Jeff Foxworthy's house for bbqs.

I know for a fact that only hillbillies with extra cans of grizz get abducted.

What???????

They're easy to fool and control. . .just ask the Bush administration. . .

There are a few in Congress that I wish they'd abduct...or maybe they already have, and replaced them with lookalikes.  Chuck Grassley (sp?), perpetually-smiling John Cornyn, and munchkinette Barb Mikulski immediately come to mind.

They believe in: Eject the Reject!

Because under "influence" you don't remember anything anyway...

It's a technological necessity. Alien space crafts run on moonshine.

Because the aliens know that when they release the hillbilly and he tells everyone, nobody will understand a word he's saying.

Well, for one they can't run fast or far. The roads aren't paved yet (they haven't discovered quite how to do that--they're a few hundred years behind times), and they'll hurt their barefeet. Plus, they look up in the sky and go "Look at dem pretty lights!" while everyone else is long gone. Easy, easy targets.

Because no one will believe them when they return! Hillbillies have been known to have too much of the booze lol.

Because they don't have to worry about being bitten. No teeth.

Because nobody misses them the next day.

Because they taste better!

Because they are the only people who understand the true meaning of life as they lay low on their farmlands and watch the city slickers travel by in their frenzied, going-nowhere state of minds.

And it's always the fat and stupid ones. Someone get me a whole mess of fatty foods and hit me in the head a few times to drop my I.Q. I want to see the aliens too.

Yeah right Fern... right after she dropped a hit of acid.

Cause we're more fun than dem other borin' igets. Really.

Because they know no-one will take them seriously!

They saw the movie Deliverance and want to party with those cats.

Most likely, after abducting a few dozen hillbillies, the aliens are now searching elsewhere for intelligent life.

Because the watch the Jerry Springer Show

Attorneys, CPAs, and college professors get abducted, too;they're just smart enough to keep quiet about it.

Because they watch too much of that late night sci-fi while drinking too much.

I think it has something to do with the ir clothes. They abduct them to talk some fashion sense into them.

The stupid people are easier to catch.

Rednecks are used to getting probed anally, so they are the perfect specimens. No lube required.

The most simple to study and probe!

It's because if the anal probe goes horribly wrong then no one would care.

Freaks of nature are much more interesting for study.

Are you nuts? Accoring to the Globe, The Star and The London Post aliens abduct more Europeans than almost any other socio-economic or geographic population.

Because the aliens are trying to study plant life and they're a bit off track...or, ARE they?

To make it easier to prove that there isn't much intelligent life out there.

Because it's routine for both parties.