Spouse no longer attractive

This is a case-by-case basis. . .especially since she's sure as hell more attractive than me. . .

This one is difficult to say. If the spouse is not attractive physically, it's not so much of an issue as long as the spouse is still attractive in any other way. However, if there is just no attraction in any way at all.... I'm afraid that infidelity may finds its way into the marriage.

But they have a great personality.....

If this is your excuse, you got married for lust and not love, dumb person...

Some slipping is expected as you age, but don't let yourself go. UPDATE: I would also imagine that you are also not as attractive anymore in this case...

If a marriage is based on looks to start with then it is doomed from the get go because we all grow old and looks more than likely fade with aging. Of course if one opts to spend thousands for plastic surgery that could open another can of worms (financial problems). If money is no concern then knock yourself out. Then one must ask the question: Do I want to be married to a freak show plastic dummy with no inner beauty or a real human being who's not insecure and self centered?

And you think you are? On the other hand, I have seen more than a few couples where wifey couldn't wait to go get herself a couple of fat arms and a butt you could use for a coffee table, or where hubby grows a Budweiser trophy the size of Milwaukee and starts thinking sweats are formal wear. If you're the other half of one of those equations, its gotta make you think.

No more attractive? Where were your eyes when you were getting married, on your behind?

WOW I don't know where to begin with this topic for starters if a spouse let's him/herself go in a slothfull gluttenous way either by gaining alot of weight of just not grooming they need to stop lying to themselves I will sometimes stand and look at myself in the bathroom mirror and say to myself ok how do I look would I go out with someone that looks and acts like me and if the answer is no then you need to find someone who will and stop dreaming of finding this model man/woman and settle for what your willing to give out. I workout 5 days a week im muscular,healthy and attractive (not stuck-up)but it wasn't always this way I was extreamly skinny when I was younger but I hung in there and after a couple years in the gym, I like the way I look please don't give me that oh who has time for that crap because if you look long and hard you find somewhere in your day somehow you have time even if for 15 min about the time some people spend in the bathroom if you hate the way you look the... Read more

Nobody told me "for better or for worse" came with a 30 a day twinkie clause. Wedding rings should weigh 50lbs...it's the only way some married people would get any exercise.

Absolutely. Dont give me that "love me anyway I am crap". That is not fair or realistic. If you dont have the self love/respect to try and stay HEALTHY and lets not mess with words, that what were talking about here, why should you deserve someone elses respect/love. There is an allowance for heredity, of course, I am not a heartless robot, but we are talking about all the other cases where its about people just letting themselves go. Lets face it, a woman who gains 100 pounds in 5 years cannot possibly feel good about herself. How will that state of mind transfer to her mate? It will effect it in 100 negative ways. My wife does that she will lose me for sure. It doesnt need to be said, she knows that.

Was drawn to this topic....not sure specifically why...other than maybe to think out loud! Stop to consider that NO ONE really wants to gain weight and lose their attractive appearance. I could not imagine that a person just wakes up one day and thinks "gee, I think I will gain a few pounds, become lazy, stop taking care of myself and try to become as unattractive as possible". "Boy, that will piss my spouse off". No, I think a person travels that road due to many other issues under the surface. Depression, stress, ...awe, maybe life in general?? Too much understanding and support can only enable a person to go down that path and lack of support and understanding can push a person down the same path. A happy balance from the spouse may be the cure, but most certainly I can not imagine that anyone would "choose" personal neglect of themselves. Everyone wants to be happy, attractive and admired by their spouse and others in general. We all go through phases...who and if someone he... Read more

Then why do we have eyes? Why dress appropriately for a job or interview? Why dress to impress on the first date(s)? Why let the magic of impressing each other fade away? Aging is expected, but why assist the process? Why do some people have the sense to maintain themselves and keep themselves despite their age, and others don't. You have to see your food before you eat it. It is a trap when after sometime, one member of the relationship lets themselves go and the other has to tollerate or remain quiet because of ethics or fear of negative backlash from society. Yes, love and support is absolutely necessary but it shouldn't be taken for granted or as a free meal ticket to do as you please. Each person in the relationship has a responsibility to keep up their end. And, if one person in the relationship does something negative or harmful to him/herself, then they are doing it to both members of the relationship. I for one think it is unfair to have to stay silent if I am not ha... Read more

I'm dealing with this myself. Love my wife's personality and cherish our memeories. But she's gained 70 lbs and does zero exercise. Sad to say, but I'm embarassed to be seen with her. I don't expect a model, just not a fatso. Nothing I've tried makes a difference. I feel trapped. I thought I was just a "shallow Hal" but read on marriage builder's website that spousal attractiveness is more important for some than for others. It's important to me.

Spouse no longer attractive,that is impossible...most times when we love someone we perceive our beloved as perfect,flawless,faultless it is not until the novelty of blind-love has dissolved that we begin to notice imperfections in our spouses.The reality is the faults were always there, we just choose to overlook them in order to prolong our dream come true...friends of mine have been so blinded by love that they try to convince me,their girlfriends are a striking resemblence of Audrey Hepburn,Rita Hayworth,and Grace Kelly which in actual fact after meeting them it was Rupaul,Barry White,and Quasimodo.In most cases it is usually the one that falls out of love with the other that is the primary cause of their spouse appearing tired,beaten up,and run-down.

i do not weigh anymore than i did the day he met me and yet my husband is no longer physically attracted to me and the bedroom scene has stopped for over a year. he works out all of the time to keep from cheating on me, however, it is really hard to choke. the rejection complex has set in and i don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling unwanted and unable to even try to please my spouse. i was just glad to know that we are not the only ones dealing with such issues. i don't feel like this is anything to get a divorce over as long as he remains faithful. it doesn't seem fair and i don't begin to understand......thanks for other views on the issue

Perfectly legit reason. I am not talking about the loss of attractiveness that comes with age but rather the letting go of ones-self that often occurs out of laziness and represents a lack of interest in keeping ones-self physically attractive to their partner. All facets of a relationship require work to maintain, so why not this one?

Ahh don't worry about it! We'll ALL be unattractive the older we get.

Then you shouldn't have married her/him. Update: Don't know why someone didn't find this review helpful, because it's true. You should marry a person for his/her character, personality and intrest, and maybe looks too. If you marry the person just for looks you won't have a happy relationship.

I don't really think this should be THE deciding factor in getting a divorce. However, if a spouse has really let everything go physically, then do they really care about continuing to be attractive for their partner? Don't we try to be attractive because we care about and want to continue receiving the attention of the person we married? Maybe spouses who let themselves go are inadvertently saying they no longer care about the marriage. Just a thought...

I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand looks deteriorate over time and you marry because you love the person - you didn't marry her T&A.; On the other hand some people seem to think that they don't have to take care of themselves because they don't have to impress anyone anymore and they use that as an excuse to never bathe and let vines grow out of their nose or feed their faces until their ass is big enough to put a golf course on.