Spouse Doesn't Want to Have Kids

I have been married for 3 years and I though I would be able to give my husband a child or children. However, I absolutely am completely mortified with the how scenario. I think it is very selfish for him to want me to have kids. Child birth is dangerous, painful, disgusting and who want to screw up a smoking hot body like mine. I am an athletic individual that does not want to give up having a life. To be completely honest I hear people all the time say I love my children they make me happy and I don't regret having them, but seriously everyone with children are miserable, broke and have no time for anything. I am not PRO-LIFE and most who say these types of things are just trying to convince themselves they are happy and not broke. Basically these religious people are pro-life and need to get a clue. So I guess my husband and I will be getting divorced because I cannot give him what he wants. Did I mention he already has a 12 year old daughter?

Well that old fashion idea sounds great. But back then people didn't decide to not have children either, that was expected that is what you did.

Seems to me that marriage should be to one another first- not centered around whether you do or do not have/ raise children. It seems that people have gotten away from the old-fashioned idea that, in marriage, your spouse is supposed to be the center of your life.

If you didn't talk about this one BEFORE you got married, I think the relationship probably lacked a basic communications element and was doomed from the get go.

Wanting or not wanting children is a major life issue. You only get one chance to live this life. If you can't reach the age of 80 satisfied that you never had children or even adopted--sorry but that is a deal breaker. By the same token, if you can't even imagine having to parent against your will but your spouse wants to bring forth a family of 10--deal breaker. Of course, I think a compromise should be reached whenever possible in a marriage but this is hard issue to compromise on. BTW, shouldn't this be decided long before the wedding??

This really SHOULD have been one of the top reasons not to get married.It's just a HUGE difference! if you stay you're miserable...I broke off a relationship because i thought i could deal with "no kids" If it's really ingrained into you...you can't deal...leave. Peacefully if possible.

Sounds like a keeper to me.

Wow, don't you think you should've discussed this MAJOR subject before you got married? You both need to be on the same page when it comes to having children. If your future spouse says they don't want to have kids before you get married, don't think you are going to change their mind afterwards. Again, communication is key to any good relationship.

My wife wants to have kids. Just not with me.

This is something that should be discussed before getting married. I do know however, of several examples of one spouse telling another that they don't want to have kids AFTER telling them that they did, before they were married. That is VERY low, and in that case, divorce should not be out of the question.

I would imagine that a lot of people take it for granted and just assume that the other one wants or doesn't want kids. It probably wasn't an issue years ago, but it is now, with women choosing careers over motherhood, or men just not wanting the responsibility or whatever other personal choices someone makes. It doesn't hurt to ask.

Well, that's GREAT! Because I want a spouse who doesn't want to have kids! (chuckles).

this is kind of a crappy reason, only because people should seriously discuss such things *before* marriage. however, sometimes assumptions are made and things go wrong. if you want fulfillment in parenthood, you should be getting what you want out of life. having kids is a big thing, and very important to a lot of people - especially women. it's like, birth, growth, having kids, raising kids, being a grandma, then dying. if your entire expectancy of your future changes, then...it's okay i guess.