Sex Jokes

Funny, however they become quite tiresome (much like bad sex lol ) ;)

It depends on the nature of the joke, but they can be groaners or screamers! A young girl comes home after a trip to the mall looking for a prom dress. She finds her dad in the living room and says, "Dad, you know that prom is in two weeks and I found this beautiful dress at the mall that I'd love to have." Dad says, "Well sweetheart, I'd love to buy it for you. Tell me how much it costs." The daughter says, "It's $500 dollars daddy." Dad says, "Well that's gotta be some dress, but your gonna have to do something extra special for dad to get that dress." Daughter, "Daddy, I would do anything, anything at all to have that dress!" Dad, "Well Sweetheart, in order to get that dress your gonna have to give dad a BJ." "Oh God daddy, no way will I do that!", screams the daughter as she runs off into the house. The following week goes by and with strengthened resolve the daughter returns. "Daddy", she says, "That dress is still at the mall and I know that it costs $500 dollars, bu... Read more

Most people's sex lives seem to be a joke anyways, so why not?

I used to define a sex joke as a particularly unresponsive date I once had.

Did you hear the one about the prostitute who didn't know the difference between KY Jelly and window putty? Her windows fell out.

This is one that everyone has heard, Never the less: Superman was flying around the world one day when he spotted Wonder Woman lying on a beach in Italy, naked and looking very sexxxy. He couldn't resist, he flew down and had sex with her right where she lay. Being faster than a speeding bullet, it was over within seconds and he flew off again to make the world a safer place. Wonder Woman, disturbed by the sudden interuption looks up. "what was that?" she asked. "Idon't know, " said the Invisible Man "But it hurt like hell."

Poor old Mr. Goldstein was hobbling down the street with the aid of his cane. 96 years of age is no time to be recovering from a fall down the stairs. Exhausted, he ducked into a church to sit for a while and headed for the confessional. The priest saw this and came to his aid. "Yes, my son. How can I help you?" asked the preist. "Vell, faddah, yesterday I vuz in dah deli around dah corner and dis beautiful blonde lady vawks up to me and makes eyes at me. So, I make eyes at her. And before you know, vee vuz making whoopie all over dah place. On the butcher block. On dah table. On the chair. On dah floor." The priest interrupted the old man. "My son, I am more than interested in hearing where your story is going, but before you continue, I must ask you a question: By the sound of your voice, it doesn't sound like you are a member of my congregation, are you?" "Vell, to tell you dah trute, no I'm not." "Well? Why are you telling this story to me?" asked the priest. "Tellin' YOU? He... Read more