Irish Jokes

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp. ' What happened to you?' asks Sean, the bartender. ' Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight,' says Paddy. 'T hat little shit, O'Conner,' says Sean, 'He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand.' ' That he did,' says Paddy, 'a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it.' 'Well,' says Sean, 'you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?' That I did,' said Paddy.. 'Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight.' *************************************************** ***************************************** ************** An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls h... Read more

A fella stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of Course," replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '65." "This is unbelievable!," the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '65, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?," he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The... Read more