Dealcoholized Beer

Non-alcoholic beer a.k.a near beer is an accidental discovery by a Franciscan Monk named John The Belushi in 1344 BC. Brewing non-alcoholic beer requires a two-part chemical mixture and fermentation process involving the use of industrial waste, red fuming bunghole acid, animal byproducts such as beaks, toenails, and whale piss. Prior to fermentation, once the precursors have been taste tested by 69 time Iron Chef champion Chen Wantenobjobe (pronounced Want`a-nob`jobie) the mixture receives a dose of Drano Liquid Rotor Rooter, Mr. Cleans Balzac disinfectant, an 8-ounce bottle of channel number five, and five tons of Raid Wasp and Horny Toad Killer. Although near beer has no intrinsic value, it does have significant psychosocial side effects. For example, a double blind ass drunk study conducted by researchers Dudley Moore, Foster Brooks, and Dean Martin concluded that women rated as a two near 10pm in the evening approached a solid 10 near closing time at most taverns. In addition, non... Read more

Might as well just drink refridgerated piss.

I guess its okay if you're a designated driver that wants to at least look like he's really drinking, but I just don't get it. Of course, I also don't drink beer...

As long as there are those (like myself) who like the taste of beer without being surrounded by pink elephants, then it's not completely a lost cause.

Crack one of these next time you cook up a meat-free chick pea steak and sprinkle some Mrs. Dash salt substitute on your soy-based mash potato replacement and you have the makings of dinner in Hell.

It's not even good shampoo.

I read a book called "The Story of American Beer" by Maureen Ogle. NA beer was originally an attempt by brewers to stay in business during prohibition. Even with real beer being illegal, NA beer didn't sell. How this stuff ever managed to stick around after prohibition was repealed is beyond me.

Got to agree with Franks on this one. In an era of Fat free fat, meatless meat and non-dairy Creamer; non-alcoholic alcohol fits right in. Excuse me while I weep for society.

Either you drink beer or you do not drink beer. Either go away or go all the way- Jefferson Airplane. Do or do not- Yoda There is no tomorrow- Apollo Creed

Having just started treatment for Tonsile cancer, I was surprised to find that 15% of the cases of this type of cancer is related to alcohol and the other 85 percent mainly to tobacco products. I was told to stop drinking totally to aid in the treatment and to help insure it does not come back. I am a wine drinker and not heavy, but I tried dealcoholized wine without much luck other than the champagne replacements, so even though not a great beer lover, I tried dealcoholized beer and was surprised how many there are out there. Here is what I have tried and my thoughts: O'Dooles - Regular Lager - Not too bad Dark - Too Sweet Beck's - Better than O'Dooles Regular Lager Marke Clausthaler - Better than Becks St. Paulie Girl - Better than Clausthaler Einbecker - The best I have had so far. Tastes close to a German Lager I have not tried Kalider, which I have heard good things about and have not tried the Labets, which I have yet to find. For me, this is a way to ... Read more

Well, I think the main purpoe it for alcoholics who enjoy the taste of beer. Or Diabetics who can't drink alcohol but like beer. Not all brands are horrible... Labatt Nordic isn't bad but it has .5% it's not "non-alcoholic" it's de-alcoholized". There is a slight diffence but for me it's like super light beer. I'm in Canada I dont know if you can get it in the US. My Friend is an alcoholic and he drinks Beck's non-alcoholized. Beck's is more bitter I only have it when I'm at my friend and he runs out of other drinks like water etc... his tap water tastes worse than the non=alcoholic beer.

Will be illegal in my kingdom.  Possession will be a fine depending on the judge's opinion.

I figure this was invented for folks who really like to piss. It doesn't seem to have any other purpose.

Maybe for someone who wants to get drunk, this is a scam, although there is no real deceit. But it is for those who love the taste of beer (because cold, bitter drinks can be refreshing) but have to drive or want to be responsible. I figure if it tastes the same as beer, then what's the big problem!

Why would the existance of this immitation irritate you any more than soft drinks or any other beverage. It's not like they're trying to trick you by not mentioning there's no alcohol. On the other hand, I have no idea why anyone would want to drink it.

I don't drink it, but am amazed its still around.

For millions of people like me who can't drink alcohol, this is a great substitute. How many carbs in this product?

It seems pointless.

I don't drink anymore, but one thing I would not drink is near beer. Beer is nasty, no doubt about it, but there is only one purpose to drink it, and what is the purpose of drinking non alcoholic mule urine in a can?

Give the alcholics something to enjoy... Geez! Rough crowd!! LOL ODouls Amber is actually not bad.

Probally tastes like watered down beer.

its like Pamela Anderson with out the breasts.

Wishful alcoholism?

I love great beer its refreshing, stimulating, and provides ambience. Beer does taste good, just not to the simple tongue; when I was a kid I thought everything not made of gummy was foul, but I've grown; some haven't. The thing about n/a beer is that it doesn't taste very good....sorta like what I imagine the water you use to bathe a dog or several dogs would taste like after a week in a garbage pail. That fact that it exists seems to show that people buy it, though I've never actually seen someone purchase it, but then again I've never seen someone purchase pornography so I suppose there may be some shame in buying n/a beer. But the most confusing thing is the demographic that purchases this stuff. I don't imagine too many recovering alcoholics are testing their will power, nor do I imagine that too many other people wanting to drink and not experience the pleasent effects of alcohol. This may seem a contradiction to me saying that beer tastes good because that would preclude a need ... Read more

[Trumpets] All hail, the king of the morons! So for ClassicTVFan47's concise, first hand, know-it-all approach to, well, everthing, he is TOLD, that's right, TOLD that beer tastes terrible. Evidently, being told about something is the new revolution in market research. Just ask CTVFan47 about beer and he'll tell you everything you need to know - not because he ever tasted it (ha, only fools try things for themselves), but rather because he had the advantage of being told how it tastes. ClassicTVFan47 still being a total jackoff notwithstanding, dealcoholized beer is pretty useless. Contrary to the inane ramblings of our favorite little Star Trek nerd, I'm one of those oh so rare souls that enjoys quality beer responsibly - there is no evil transformation from regular guy to spontaneously-disrobing-drunk-driving-wife-beating-alcoholic-madman after the first sip. I simply enjoy quality and I hate morons. 'Nuff said. I'll never forget watching my grandfather buy a six of some NA brew out ... Read more

I heard Pokemon sucks, someone told me that once. I've never seen it, but I've heard it's lame. I'm not much of a drinker, but I tried this once and yeah it is awful.

Most people drink to get shit faced. Not because they enjoy the great taste of beer. This crap is a waste of time,money,energy and space. But someone must be buying it if it's still being manufactured.

Or as it is called in Star Trek, synthehol. Beer smells terrible, and I'm told it tastes terrible as well! So, why anyone would want to drink this when they can drink excellent drinks like Mountain Dew 2: Code Red or Wild Cherry Pepsi is beyond me!!!!