Come drunk or high (thanks Vudija)

I have yet to attend a funeral where out of hand public drunkeness has caused any form of disruption whatsoever. I'm reasonbly certain that there is NO unspoken rule of strict temperance related to the events among my friends or family. So I'm assuming that they all understand that having one or two to steady the nerves and quell the emotions is acceptable so long as good judgement and discretion are exercised. I have been at post funeral receptions of all manner, including the traditional Mennonite practice of Sharing, where attendees are encouraged, every one, to stand up and recount a memory or story of the departed. They are as frequently colourful as they are reverent; humorous and touching in equal proportion. These events are almost always bone dry. I also worked on the railroad one summer when a crew from a nearby work gang lost 22 men in a bus accident. Most of both my crew and the one that suffered a loss was from Newfoundland, a small closely knit province on the east... Read more

I haven't gone drunk or high to a funeral, but I have got drunk on some funerals of my father's family members. This is not something typical in Spain, but I guess my family is a little different on that sense. We like to drink, party, have fun. On any event we have alcohol is present. It's usual that younger relatives stay at the vigil the entire night. Normally at the middle of the night, we hit the cemetery cafeteria (cemeteries in Spain have cafeterias with full bars), and get drunk talking stories about the gone. I think of it as a tribute to the member who died.

Again. . .this one depends on some variables. .. American Puritanism has people running scared with antiquated ideas of libations. . . Simple rule - if you can be quiet and respectful and direct no attention to yourself- then, what's the problem? If your behavior takes attention away from the deceased and grieving family- that's a problem. But the actual condition of the person should matter very little. . .and I am suspicious of those who pay that kind of close attention when (clearly) something more important is going on.

Drunk is probably not a good idea, as it's always pretty obvious to others, but I have to admit I've done high. I've never thought of myself as being particularly phobic when it comes to funerals, but starting with the funeral of a childhood friend's mother approximately 20 years ago, I've found opiates make the going a bit easier. I had known this woman since I was about 7 years of age, I was very close to the family, particularly the father, who once referred to me as his "2nd son", and I just remember thinking, "I'm not going to be able to get through this thing straight." With opiates, I was calm, lucid, seemingly in control of myself. A year or 2 later, another friend's mother died, and again I went to the church and the graveyard under a chemical influence. Later on, at my friend's uncle's house where everyone had gathered, I combined alcohol with the drugs, but by then everybody was coming unglued, and I don't think I made much of a negative impression (one of my friend's cous... Read more

Unless or course, its an Irish Wake, in which case, fill your boots..... UPDATE: There is an uptight "Leave it to Beaver" tone to this list that I find worthy of mockery. Some of us who are old enough to have seen a lot of life, and had more friends die than we care to count realize that everyone deals with grief in different ways. A few years ago a young woman I knew was killed in a car accident, and her father (who was about my age) got liquored to the tits on Grappa before the funeral so he could endure it. There was no embarrassing scene, and no one thought any the less of him for it. On another occasion one of my oldest friends died of a heart attack in the shower. The memorial service was held in his favorite pub with his friends and family taking turns telling stories about him. I stood up, called to the bartender to bring a round for the house, fired back a double shot of Jameson's, picked up my pint of IPA and told the story of how we first met, and had people in tea... Read more

I'd be offended if you weren't a tad drunk for mine...

Idk how they do things in other countries, but in the U.S. this would be viewed as disrespectful. Drinking at a funeral is like celebrating someone's death, its just messed up. The only thing worse than this would be having sex at a funeral.

It depends on the individual funeral. If you are attending one for a co-worker or a less familiar acquaintance, then you might want to hold off. However, when its a close friend or family member, I can see people drinking or coming high to help deal with what might be a stressful situation. Drugs don't work for me, and I'm not one to drink beforehand. However, sharing drinks with family and those who were close after the funeral is almost a must.

I've always reserved this for afterwards. After the death of a loved one, alcohol or pot helps me to shelve the grief and deal with it on my own when I am ready. I wouldn't go to a funeral drunk or high, nor would I judge anyone who did.

I've known a few to do this. People deal with grief differently. AS long as your not the giggly drunk or the giggly high Its not too bad.

Sometimes, at an irish wake, the alcohol flows so freely, it's inevitable. The stories of drunken brawls and wild parties begun at a wake are legendary. I was told that, in the mid-1800's, when a young Irishman put together the wherewithall to escape the poverty and despair of Ireland to sail to America or Australia, they would "wake" him on his last night, knowing that, to them, he'd be dead now, they'd never see him again. There are times when a bit of alcoholic lubrication makes a particularly upsetting or tragic wake a bit easier to get through. Try not to be too judgmental. We all are entitled to deal with our grief singularly.

Depending on the deceased person's family, you may wind up the next one in a casket.

Definitely not the nicest thing you could do.

"I'm...not...drunk. I've just had too many beers."