Christian Rapture

I hate to be the messenger of bad news(no, I love it). When you died, there are no second chances. Everyone shed a few tears at your funeral. Your body becomes food for the maggots, blah blah. The corrupt priests who keep predicting the end are only interested in your pocketbooks. If you don't want to heed your sovereign’s advice, I suggest one cheap way to get rapture-Go buy a couple of margaritas, take some magic pills, and find a hooker with a big mouth.

Like they'd take me... UPDATE: The historian in me would like to take a moment to point out that the rapture was put together on very questionable scriptural grounds no more than 200 years ago by folks the other Christians thought were weird. I guess people need a placebo, but the idea of a Christian Rapture is quackery of the first rate. Jesus never said anything about it in the bible and the church has never really embraced it aside from the evangelicals in the USA.

Haven't we gone through like 4 of these in the past couple years??

Atheism is on the rise! Sucks cause I'm a believer :( And a lot of stuff that is going on in today's crazy world has been predicted fairly accurately in the bible. Just saying'

I'll probably be in a Mexican restaurant at the time.

I suppose it would be OK if it was painless and smooth.

LOL Christians!

Well, six o'clock on May 21, 2011 has come and gone, which means Mr. Jeezer done came and raptured all them thar xians. So, now that all the true believers are gone, the only so-called xians who are left are the obviously inferior xian types. So, anyway, I am personally glad to be rid of 'em all, and we know that the xians who are left are obviously liars and fakes.

Maybe the rapture really did happen 38 minutes (or years) ago, and you're still here because YOU SUCK AT YOUR OWN RELIGION. Think about that one, 'end times' choads.

No such thing untill the false christ is dealt with. Say that all that is worthy gets called up at a split second then it's over. Then three seconds later someone is saved. I guess it's tough luck for him caused he missed the ride. Read 2Tim 2 chapter. Sorry folks looks like there is no PRE rapture..

Really? lol, technicaly your not DEAD you are kept safely in the kindom of heaven till christ finishes messing with unbelievers for seven years and after that....road trip back to earth. More like an extended visit to a theme park. And if you don't agree with me, just remember this is my interpretation of what I read from the Great Book of Spin.

I think that Technically, the idea of this is that you don't Die but live on earth till it gets stale and then go to Heaven. But again, I'm no expert on end-times philosophy. Didn't Jesus just want us all to relax and be Groovy?

Rapture??? Fab Five Freddie told me everybody's high DJ's spinnin' are savin' my mind Flash is fast, Flash is cool. (Sorry Blondie)

DAYUM IDK!

Not sure, what exactly to expect of this, so can't really rate it.

I agree with Enkidu here. I know I will offend some good people with this, though I don't mean to...I am not a believer in Revelations- other than a metaphorical truth. Even Physics teaches the concept of entropy. The Jesus Christ I believe in said, "All men are welcomed at my table." He didn't need threats of hell and damnation. Update: A pity that so many fail to separate the reality of God from the mythology of religion.

I would sooner live an afterlife with my loved ones who have sinned.

End Times Christians are delusional and their narcissistic belief that the world will end through divine interference (often within their own lifetimes) fosters a tradition of consumption that accelerates us toward environmental crisis.

I suspect that if any such list exists, I ain't on it. Thank God......UPDATE (after reading lmorovans review, repeated in italics below)Many will die during the rapture, and will be tragic deaths. Christian pilots will vanish in thin air from a jumbo jet full of people at 20,000 feet altitude, Christian bus drivers will vanish from a full bus at 60 miles per hour, thousands of Christians drivers will disappear leaving their cars driverless on the fast lane, the list is big. You will not enjoy being left behind.Thanks for reinforcing my convictions in my own beliefs, LM.

but don't want it to happen for at least 40 more years.have to many things i want to do before that.

Technical this wouldn't be dying it would be ascending

That would be trippy!

It's a nice faery tale, but it isn't going to happen...ever...because God doesn't exist!

well... if heaven exists, i'm definately goin to hell. so...

knowing what I know peaceful

hope so

WTF is this?

That would be an honor.

YES THIS IS MY TOP CHIOCE BY FAR!!!!!!!

That whole rapture scenario kinda scares me a little. I mean, the end of the world and all? Judgement Day, the whole nine yards. It's so final and life as we know it here would end. Not that we wouldn't go to a better place, but still, HAVING to face it, against our will? There's something eerie and strange in that whole thing.

not christian

That's not death at all!

amen

I don't know how rapture made it in this particular list since it does not mean death. Christians will know what rapture means. "People get ready, Jesus is coming, soon we'll be going home...."

CHRISTIAN RAPTURE??? YOU INSULT ME WITH YOUR BLASPHEMY!! ALLAH WILL PUNISH ALL THOSE WHO ARE INSOLENT!

NO DAMN GID SHIT

this is how I hope to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If it happens soon, then I will, but I hope he comes back in the next 50 years

this is the real way that i want to go. by god's hand and not mine.

Hey whatever way it really doesn’t bother me, but the hardest thing for me will be the realization of those around me that did not make it. Now that will be hard, especially those who are my loved ones and close friends!

The Rapture isn't really a death at all.

actually there is Catholic Dogma backing these up, not scripture. but it would be the best way to go if it were real

This is the way I want to go!

whatever... not applicable