RateItAll: The Opinion Network

Depends. I forgave one without forgiving the other. The one who took responsibility and admitted his faults and admitted he had a problem and could never be trusted with children - he's been forgiven. I would not trust him, but he's been forgiven.

The other first tried to save his own ass by calling me a liar. He spent several years, even after being found guilty, trying to convince people he was capable of being around children because he didn't have a problem. He finally gave up that approach, by blaming everyone else without taking responsibility for what he'd done. I did not forgive him because of that. I can be civil if ever our paths cross again, but he is not forgiving and he knows that.

I'm not inclined to bear an eternal grudge against someone who hurt me on purpose, so I'll probably forgive, but I will take precautions against getting hurt again which may be perceived as punishment. I'm also not inclined to waive just and reasonable atonement for damages. If there's a penal law to pursue what anyone did to me, I'm resolved to try and get the culprit sued, though I might abstain from any civil law suits in connection with it.

To my amazement I got better at forgiving since I got better at protecting myself or getting my own back. But I'm far from perfect and might arrive at the limits of my forgivness at any time.

I've never been in this situation, nor do I want to, but whether if I could forgive him/her or not, will remain "the question". I'll never know what will click inside me to forgive or not to forgive.