child announces homosexuality

Typically, this moment only comes a surprise to really dim parents.

Meh, so your kid like to play with other boys' toys. That's why you have 2 or 3 if you want to continue the family line. It would really suck if they all turned out to be gay though, especially if you were looking forward to grandkids.

Probably less of a surprise than the child expected.

Big deal. So your kid's a homo. You don't have to have same sex sexual relationships, they do. And in this modern world they can do anything a straight couple can. I can't say I blame homosexuals. Sometimes I wished I swung that way. Men and women speak a different language. And I bet same sex handles your parts (and emotions) MUCH better.

THIS IS NO CHILD OF MINE! EXILE FROMT HE FAMILY IS NECESSARY UNTIL IT ADMITS ITS GRIEVOUS ERROR!

I'm not going to suggest for a moment that I would be thrilled about this, but I hope I'd have the stones to deal with it responsibly. This wouldn't be something I was ashamed of, but nor would it be something I'd welcome. Having said that, I'd much rather this happen than many other possibilities. The situation, in my case at least seems unlikely to arise. All three of my kids show signs of being relentlessly heterosexual, and possessed of a fair degree of the irishgit family libido as well.

Of course this is a big deal! Who wants his child to be outside the pale of accepted civilization!

Puh-leeze. . .I'd rather have my kid be gay and happy than straight and be a failure by living in my basement when he's 32. . .

Be happy your kid is alive, and brave enough to tell you.

I can understand that for some people it can be a shock to find out their child orientation is "atypical". I personally think that as long as your child is a good person with a good heart and good values, that all that matters! Saying all that, majority people think that homosexuality is a sin and abnormality. HOw sad!

I would accept them for who they were. there could be far worse things they could tell me. I had parents who although I guess they loved me rarely had positive things to say to me or my brother, my mother in particular could be brutal.{and there was no subject of anyone being a homosexual} I know that if I had ever said this to my parents they would have turned their back on me or my brother.especially my dad who would probably be described as a homophobe. I would never do this to my kids.it would be a lot more emotionally hurtful if they said they hated my guts or did not wish to see us again.

How one can consider for a moment all the other things that could happen to one's child; disease, disfigurement, drug-addiction or death, for example, and still consider this the worst thing that could happen to their child, completely baffles me. That some would consider a child's choice of who to love worse than actual physical harm to the child, really makes me despair.

1 Star - Least Hurtful. "Coming out" is just not a big deal, unless others make it a big deal. I believe that the matter should certainly be supported, and/or simply not made a big deal of. I'm a parent, and if this ever happens I think I would handle it fairly matter-of-factly: "Oh, you're gay? That's OK dear", sort of like: "Blue is your favorite color? OK.". And if he/she changes their mind? So what? No harm, no foul. "OK, today red is your favorite color". Big damn deal. Children experiment with their sexuality; it's part of the human animal, as well as many other species (we cannot change basic biology). It is what it is, and it's NOT a choice. A realization perhaps, but not a selection. No one in their right mind would "choose" to live a life of constant ridicule, derision, and being the target of unbridled hatred. The claim of "choosing to be gay" is one of the most idiotic statements I've ever heard; A clear sign of true ignorance. It takes real courage to accept that fate, k... Read more

Hurt feelings or not, in this circumstance I believe the parent has a duty to attempt to initially put their own feelings aside and help the child understand that gay, straight or whatever, you as a parent will continue love, nuture and be emotionally supportive of them and that this issue will not impact your feelings towards them one way or another. These are the most important words a parent can offer a child in this kind of difficult situation, and if the parent continues to feel deeply hurt or troubled by the "news" after weeks or months, I highly recommend counseling of some kind to help work through whatever issues you might have regarding to the particular issue. **1/2

I'm with Cowgirl on this one: I understand for some people this may be an issue, but a person has to remember 2 things; 1) he/she is still your child and 2) there ARE worse things. I wouldn't have a problem with this at all. I don't believe that it is something that can necessarily be helped, so it's not as if I could have done something differently to have changed the outcome. The only problem I would see with this, is that OTHERS might not be so accepting of my child being homosexual.

I suppose I just don't see this as something earth shatteringly terrible. I'm fine with gay people. I guess you have to be a total homophobe if you see that there are not worse things in life.

We've really got to turn this round on its head. The child is hurting because he's afraid of his parents' reaction to something that he/she truly is. The parents hurt because the child doesn't fulfill some plan that THEY have had for him/her. How twisted is that? It should be seen as a joyful occasion; ie, the child is admitting who he/she really is and no longer lying to everyone.He is exposing his honesty and vulnerability to those he loves and to whom he seeks support. If you loved your child-really loved him- the only concern would be for his happiness and welfare. Everyone should be proud of someone who has the confidence to realise who he is and live by that. Well,EO, I'm sure MOST people did not take the reference of 'child' here as an eight year old! But fifteen? Well, it's legal at fifteen in some countries. Besides, I would want to listen to what the child has to say about himself at any age. And what has the media got to do with anything? You think you learn your sexuality ... Read more

ORIGINAL COMMENT 10/17: A child? How old? Eight? Great. What a wonderful day. Fifteen? Are you sure you're ready to make a decision about your sexuality? Maybe you've been brainwashed by our media to believe that anything homosexually oriented is "ok" and courageous to accept. Twenty? Give it some more thought, ok? By definition, a "child" is a person incapable of making any such judgment until he (or she) is older, more mature and has some life experience behind them. Can we slow down the speeding train a little, before we congratulate them on their intellectual bravery? Unless you mean a "son" or "daughter" of some perceived or generally accepted level of maturity. Then, I think it's just a sad day for everyone. I've seen too many "come out" and realize after that they've made a ghastly mistake. It's pretty tough to undo what's been done then. UPDATE: I'm sure my friend Dac doesn't mean to call my thoughts (which essentially call for caution, and maybe skepticism, r... Read more

I wouldn't be hurt. I wouldn't think he had chosen to be gay to spite me. However, I would be concerned about how his homosexuality might put him at risk for persecution or harassment. I would want to help him in any way I could to live a fulfilling life.

Obviously a very emotional experience, but not necessarily hurtful.

The ultimate emotional effect of such news on a parent would depend on a number of variables. Most importantly would be concern about said child's future happiness given some of the negative attitudes in society about homosexuals. The second thing to consider would be the child's comfort level with the fact that he or she is gay. If they're comfortable and happy with their sexuality then I wouldn't be too concerned. If they're troubled by it, however, then that would be emotionally difficult to deal with.