Physical Abuse

I know first hand of this, and I stayed way too long. No one should EVER have to deal with any type of physical abuse man or woman.

Walk out the door. Don't take him or her back unless there is signs of serious commitment to professional therapy and even then they get one chance and one chance only to prove they have changed.

i know first hand and i stayed way longer than i should have. i know there are those that say you must have liked it because you stayed. i want to make it clear no one likes being abused. its not like one day you are treated like a queen and the next day he puts you in the hospital. if it was like that it would probably be easier to leave. its a process. its a breakdown of your self esteem,isolation, manipulation, doubts of your self and destroyer of your soul. you start to think that if someone who loves you thinks you are deserving of what you are going through then the world outside your hell becomes even scarier. you become more scared of the unknown the weaker you become. i got to a point that i had 2 choices either just give up and die or get back up and fight for a better life. i gather up all my strength and all the will power i had left in me and with determination and hope in my heart i left. it was the hardest thing i have ever done but i never looked back and i am so much b... Read more

Abuse should never be tolerated in any relationship. The damage mentally is not fixable. Few abusers get help or change and the chances are it will continue to get worse. I lived that life for too long in my first marriage and it took a long time to realize I was better off without him. Now I am happy and in love with the most wonderful man in the world. I thank God every day for him.

Any type of abuse in not OK. usually they never change and it actually gets worse over time so the best thing to do is leave.

One of my ex-wives, Patricia, I think, took a hatchet to the chest where I had locked my grizz supply. That was abusive, I am sorry to say.

I just don't understand why any woman would want to stay with a man who abuses her physically. Can she be lower than that?

I have been in an abusive relationship for 11 years. in the beginning, i thought he could kill me at times. now, it isn't as bad... i agree though. it will never stop. I don't leave because... i am weak, i have kids with him, but, i want to be strong.. and i am going to do what i need to do.. thanks to all of these responses.. i know... i got to do it now.. finally.. forever? probably not.. i hope so... i will be better off. but it is hard. abusive men are really manipulative. God give me strength.

I can't tell you how many Women and young girls that are abused daily, I heard a girl make a remark one time that rape was fun, NO! rape cannot be fun, rape is abuse and it is sick! A lot of women stay in abusive relationships, well, that's their problem, their is help, but the classic case excuse is that always "I love him" and he will change, what! are you going to wait till you are 6 foot under? before he "changes"? that cowardly bastard won't change. A real man loves and respects his women.

I would say this is a biggie but I know so many girls who are abused by their partner and dont want to break it off. One of my ex-gfs txted me and said she was with a "real man now" and the guy beats her. Go figure.

I don't personally believe divorce is right, but this is the one issue I feel you can't argue with against anybody. If a person is physically harming you, there is no reason to stay with that person. If I ever was arrested for domestic violence or put my wife in a hospital...I hope to God she would leave my ass.

A total deal breaker.

I just learnt that my sister's husband has been abusing her for most of their 11 year marriage. I live far away, but I called my parents and they went to get her out of there (plus the 2 kids). After the brawl, him and his parents were on the floor begging for her to stay. To all of our dismay, she stayed and told my father that she wanted to scare them and this incident would fix things. I am so afraid for her, and I know that he will do it again, as do most of them. In the Indian culture, once a woman leaves her marital home, if she does come back things are not the same. I want so badly to help her but she seems to think that he will change. It was verbal abuse from the start, and eventually turned to physical abuse. She seemed afraid to speak to me even a few minutes after the brawl between my dad and her in-laws. I feel helpless and need some advice- please help.

Women, if your husband is smacking you around, get out and take your kids with you. The same goes for the more rare flip side. Abuse in any form is unacceptable.

100% grounds for divorce.  Any weak S.O.B. who abuses another, especially someone you are 'supposed to' love, deserves not only to be divorced but taught a lesson so they won't ever lay a hand on another!!!!

Pretty much top of the pops, no matter who the abuser/abusee is. Run, don't walk to your nearest divorce lawyer.

No excuse in the world for this type of behavior in a marriage or for that matter any relationship period.

One of the quickest things to end things. I won't stand for being abused in any way; I went through it as a child, and I won't be forced into it as an adult.

Hitting someone is never a mistake. An ex of mine bicycle kicked me in the head when we were in bed, chased me as I fled, cornered me and rained punches down on me until his brother pulled him off. Now, do you want to know if he was angry or stressed so that you can excuse it?

It depends. I know this must sound positively insane, but, I say this because it depends on what constitutes "abuse", the severity of the abuse and any extenuating circumstances. People make mistakes. Regular or extreme acts of violence are inexcusable but a slip up in a moment of anger or extreme stress is something else.

My sister was in one, I sympothize with anyone who's letting herself be in this situation.

Very strong grounds for separation, without a doubt. I know many are quick to judge a woman (or even a man) who is the victim in that situation, saying that they're "stupid" for not leaving. Oftentimes, it is out of fear that a person stays with an abusive person; the spouse who would hit their significant other may also threaten violence if the person left, to them or to other loved ones. Sometimes, it's not that easy to just "get up and go".

big reason. no one should put up with being physically abused. it is demeaning and worse could even end in death. if someone smacked me it would be a big red flag because no matter how sorry they are and vow they will not do it again, they will.

This should never be tolerated. Men who do this are the worst kind of cowards. A man who beats a woman once will do so again, dont be dumb enough to think differently. It should be said however, if you choose to stick around afterwards, I have not one inch of pity for you if it happens again. Also, you hot headed ladies, (you probably know who you are if you are out there)you wanna play the role and hit a man out of anger, I dont feel sorry for you if you go to jail or worse either.

Given the fact that males are the greater percentage of this type of disturbance.I will address this matter by family policy.My father has always taught me that my sisters are considered"UNTOUCHABLE!"And should be treasured amongst the family,I am not a descendant from the SABINE'S ancestral linage but when it comes to my sisters I act 100% sicilian... comprendere!So my sister need not divorce her husband(idiota)after one vistit from me due to an act of violence,I guarantee he will change his aggressive tone from 4/4 tempo to"the hills are alive with the sound of music!"...

It's either divorce or my man being six feet under. I don't think it's worth it to kill a wife beater because you go to jail and ruin your life in the process. Nobody will understand you anyways. It's better to leave because you have your dignity intact. No matter what your abusive husband/boyfriend says, it is not your fault and he does not really love you. Love is about mutual respect. Abusive men are control freaks, have problems with anger, women and their childhood and a slew of other problems. At this point the best advice is to leave town even if you have to leave everything behind, get a new job, a new look and live a new life. And don't stay just because you've got kids. Take the kids with you when he's not around. There's no guarantee that this will never happen to you again, but at least you done your best to stop this cycle from repeating itself again. Wife beaters deserve prison love if you know what I mean.

You know what the sad thing is. Most of the abused DON'T leave! They are brainwashed into really thinking that it is their fault. Horrible.

A truly valid reason to end a marriage.

Probably, the number one reason to leave a spouse. For the most part, it's men who do the abusing, but there are cases where women have abused men. Either way, no one should have to tolerate this.

this is a no brainer. physical abuse should not be tolerated at all

Absolutely no reason for this, none, whatsoever. The fact that someone who claims to love you (or that you claim to love) could actually beat you...doesn't that prove them wrong? I'm sorry, I don't even abuse my DOG, for god's sake. Nobody should tolerate this, ever, for any length of time. And the excuse that Baby, it won't happen again, I'm sorry doesn't cut it. Once is to often.

NEVER, NEVER physically harm your spouse. There is NO EXCUSE, you are a punk, a worthless human being, if you beat on your wife or children. Forget divorce, those fools need to receive what they dish out, only ten times worse.

Jar - I think what was meant by this is that one of the spouces is beating them WITHOUT their consent? My 'father' used to mentally and phyiscally abuse my mother. And too right she left him. The meaning of 'abuse' is: # To use wrongly or improperly; misuse: abuse alcohol; abuse a privilege. # To hurt or injure by maltreatment; ill-use. # To force sexual activity on; rape or molest. # To assail with contemptuous, coarse, or insulting words; revile.

There's nothing sweeter than a couple that finds a way to give lifelong love to each other. There's nothing fouler than spouse beaters who make ugly mockeries of their marriages. Physical abuse is mental torture at its worst. Sadly, relationships like these are too often needlessly prolonged and keep escalating. Get out early, and don't wait.

Nobody deserves to be in a relationship when someone is not respected. If someone really loved their spouse, then that spouse wouldn't be treated as a punching bag.

This line should NEVER be crossed in a relationship.Once it's crossed,if forgiven,it's highly likely to happen again.Possibly with even more brutality.

Those who abuse others physically are in need of serious mental help. No matter how much you love him/her, you have to get a divorce if you're in an abusive relationship. There are people who have not done so and ended up leaving their spouse anyway- but they left to their grave.

I'll just put the offer out there to throw a beating to the abusers

Get out of there as fast as you can before they kill you. This is for men and women.

I would say this is the top reason for getting a divorce. Why are you going to stay with someone who beats you? If that person really loved you he (or she) wouldn't be abusive in the first place. This is beyond mere lack of respect.

Definitely a good reason to get a divorce. I wouldn't stay married to anyone who beat the crap out of me.

There is no exuse to stay with anyone who abuses you. Unless of course you like it. But in that case, make sure that you aren't just telling yourself that, because that can lead to some serious mental illness.

About as bad as Adultery. As of lately it doesn't matter who commits the acts The husband is always seen as the perpetrator and the wife as the victim. In other words the husband can go to jail for defending himself. Don't think I'm defending men who abuse.