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Bublegum Christianity

Overall Rating:Average Rating (1.67) based on 6 ratings

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Reviews for Bublegum Christianity  1-5 OF 5

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REVIEWERREVIEWHELPFUL VOTES
Flick01 (71)
08/30/2005
Christianity according to bubble gum wrappers: In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world so He took the Sabbath off. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked Am I my brother's son? God asked Abraham to sacrifice Issac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Issac, stole his brother's birthmark. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites. Noah's wife was Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark which the animals came on to in pears. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day but a ball of fire by night. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. The fifth Commandment is to humor thy father and thy mother. The seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him. David was a Hebrew king who played the liar. He fought the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption. Saint John the blacksmith dumped water on his head. Jesus gave us the Golden Rule which says Do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained that Man doth not live by sweat alone. The people who followed Jesus were called the 12 decibels. The epistles were the wives of the apostles. One of the opossums was Saint Matthew who was by profession a taxi man. Saint Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony which is another name for marriage. A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.7
Gentle Jude (25)
03/11/2005
I'm not sure what this is, not unless you mean prosperity, surrender to the world type Christianity. If this is the case, you will be deluding the people you are trying to get saved. They will be like the foolish builder who builds his house on sand. When persecution or illness comes, they will reject God because they have been led to believe that God is just this Person who is there to serve you. Plus they are committing idolatry without realising it. Because they are serving God to get served which means that the Lord of their life is not Jesus, but themselves. Plus God wants poeple to respect His Mighty Power. But this type of theology denies the power of God and creates a 'god' that we control. This is highly dangerouse plus it is insulting to God. 1
bibliophile (9)
11/03/2004
I had to chew a lot of bubblegum during church just to get through 3-4 hours of church on Sunday morning, 2 more hours on Sunday night, and 2 on Wednesday evenings. Plus, Saturdays knocking door-to-door to witness. Not to mention revival weeks when I had to attend church every night. Bubblegum was my friend, and I was a veritable connoisseur of bubble gum (plus most flavors of Trident and Carefree) ;-)5
Donovan (96)
09/16/2004
Bublegum Christianity, I'm not sure what that is, but for me Salvation is knowing the truth and believing in him, Jesus is the truth!2
IgnatiusJReilly (71)
09/15/2004
Isn't this the basis for all christianity? Giving the people what they want to hear? What they think they need to hear? What the truth is, is that the whole god thing is trully a myth. 3
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